Air

To breathe, is to fill in a piece of what's within you with a piece of the universe that surrounds you; to maintian your existance..how insane is that? The very thing that keeps your heart pounding is not even a part of you, invisible, weightless, efortless..

Yet we take it ever so lightly, the same air that I breathe, I share with all of you, with nations that decided on bordering their terrotories with no respect to what unifies us, shutting out everything around us.. The same instinct did not only establish in our masses, it has devoloped around us, it is that invisible, sometimes transparent bubble, we have wrapped ourselves inside of them, customed them to our comfort, no longer able to reach out, thinking who would dare scratch our fragile line of defense, thinking this way of caution we have won.. Won in life..by living ever so cautiously to the extent that we are no longer living.

We as mankind have evolved, we have evolved into cornering ourselves in, instead of the vision our ancestors have dreamt of, the beautiful colors of details they once invisioned on our so proclaimed future synthetic wings have gone abyss.. Instead we hide behind screens, in dark rooms or worse in rooms filled with others, we have forgotten all that makes our men men, our women women and our children children.

So next time you take a breath in just know that you and I share the same air, we dream under the same skies, and if one day the bubble gets too tight and you decide to reble on your mind, extend your arm out, perhaps there is a rebellion out there with her arm extended as well.

Conversations

You look at people, the way they walk , smile, how their eyebrows are different, the way their eyes widen when you say something that spark their minds, something new maybe? Or something that touched their hearts perhaps, or a mere reflection of the gradual change in the image they first formed of the impression they have made of you during the very first 5 seconds of crossing each other's path..

Did you ever look at the person in front of you and took a second to think of them internally.. Like how their hearts are beating in this very second, the way their lungs are expanding and their chests are rising to take in the air that was once between the both of you, a part of the atmosphere that was once touching you..

Did you ever consider perhaps how they are insecurely thinking about their crooked tooth or the fact that they accidentally spilled coffee on their blouse and that you might notice it or maybe a thought of an instinct..

Did they see something in you or the background that triggered the dream they saw last night and put the missing puzzles together or are they worried they are not good enough to reach their dreams while they swallow. What about, when was the last time that person felt something, felt it passionately and genuinely, when did they last cry or even better cry out of happiness.. Are they happy waking up to what they get up for? Did they lose a friend, are their parents proud? What is the cause living in their hearts.

When was the last time they did something for the first time? Perhaps they are out of their comfort zone.

Perhaps today was the first day they decided to dress up and show up..and maybe, just perhaps they are looking at you wondering what's going on inside your head as well.

Find yourself.

People spend lifetimes in search of themselves, but what they actually find is comfortable reflections of what they think they are, when in truth the self is not an object or a dimension that can be lost in space and time and be found, it is constant, infinite, demanding, it is a multifactorial nothingness and silumltaneously filled with everything, it is a mystery and as much as it stabilizes it knows the comfort zone is never a home, it considers itself homeless; see nothing stops it from roaming around cities, planets and eras of different times even if the body decides to never leave the place it was born in it refuses to attach, to latch. For when the self finally settles, the body takes it's very last breath.

A 21 year reflection.

   4th of October has come to an end, I am finally 21, not sure if this is the age women usually stop at, when they are questioned their age? or is it a bit too soon, as a person that never holds on to memories I sure am very grateful for this past year with it's bad before the good. I have lost people, gained experiences, turned wounds into strong scar tissue and found happiness in the darkest of times and that to me is the absolute jackpot, I have learnt to hold on and let go both at wrong and right times and I have made peace with destiny like nothing before, emphasizing on the word "peace", does not necessarily mean I'd give in to what life throws at me for the mere idea of what we were thought to believe in, there is always a thin line between being damn right lazy and standing up and fighting for what you want and need this world to grant you, nothing comes wrapped up in a box, convincing yourself that it's not meant to be, is because you simply don't deserve it, someone out there is going to fight for it harder than you did…thou, not forgetting that sometimes it's just meant to be.


   The family I chose that surrounds me is a blessing I keep thinking of how I'd ever repay life with. The places I've been and the people I met along the way were eye-opening, I am grateful for all that I did and all that I did not do, but along the way I have understood that nothing compares to the places I've found within my heart and the sides I've discovered within the lobes of my brain. you truly understand what we humans are capable of only when we are put under circumstances we would never have imagined.

  you commit to yourself and in that comitment you grow spiritually and as a whole individual, the world becomes better when your within glows and it's like a cycle, a continuous mirror. Not forgetting change comes with acceptance, I've come to understand that even when I am uncomfortable I know in no time I will adapt and that is where the magic usually happens, miles and miles away from our comfort zones, from what society expects out of us, and miles away from what your demons tell you of yourself.

  No expectations for 21 cause no matter what we expect, imagine or dream it never happens in the exact manner it's always twisted, different or may never even occur, I go where the tides take me, cause I know that these are the waters that I've chosen, I do not want directions, I want to be lost and I understand that it isn't easy, it never was and it never will be and if I were to chose I'll take the toughest road, over and over again. because I believe in me.

Dear lil girl,

  Look at you beautifuly filled with grace lil girl, unstopable aren't you? Holding on to your dream just like your mama told you ever since your heart decided to take it's very first beat..

 Well lil girl life is going to take hits at you and knock you down, so many times, that you lose count and people are going to mock you when you speak of your ambition, they will tell you your just a lil girl and you don't have the power to save the world and let's not forget the deamons that live inside the corners of your mind, there whispers sure know how to devour your creativity inside out, don't they?

  Life isn't fair, it will hit you with low blows but remember that everytime you get knocked down, it fuels you to get back up, stronger, taller and more powerful and that the people that make fun of you are the same ones that will fight you and end up following you, see we the society fear change, I dunno how will I feel when you come back home with an insane thought of the unknown, but I know that even If I don't understand the sparks lighting up your eyes when you talk about that interesting butterfly you found in the backyard that landed on the palms of your tiny hands or the energy ball you created out of thin air in the same backyard you discoverd that butterfly in, years back, I would still support you lil girl, I'd love you and protect you from the world enough to keep your fragile dreams alive and not enought to allow the growth of scars on the walls of your heart, little beautiful cracks that you would wear proudly on the outside for they let the light pierce within when you become a challenging fearless women in a male-dominated world, you see lil girl you come from a strain of females that never let society demean them, we were proud of being the softer gender and empowement was our cause.

Lil girl one day I won't be there to guide your soul and you'd be astonishing on your own for you've always put me and your father on hold, bravless you'll speak your mind and understand that silence is not always gold...

Lil girl remember that fear is needed as it is the key that opens the door that releases us out of the cage we created to trap ourselves in and named it "the comfort zone" remember that no matter how people treat you, hold yourself with pride and respond back with a smile, for you have won. Give with all your heart, give when all you have is little and give even when you have nothing at all, remember that the right chairty is the one that no one knows of and that as you give you grow and a life spent in the helping of others is a life perfectly spent, for nothing beats a smile of a heart you touched and the warmth of a hand you helped up, travel and explore, the earth is your playground and you're a 5 yr old. Learn to leave things behind for nothing in this life belongs to you, not even the shirt on your back, it's all borrowed for a while, you are a vistor my dear, be a good one. Nothing lasts forever, not even your thoughts and when the media pushes you into thinking you're not beautiful, thin, tan, whatever enough, tell them that they know nothing about beauty and that you've been designed by the master of beauty of them all, perfected from the curve of your lashes to your little nose.

Lil girl, a women is nothing without her morals never let that go and remember even if you face the lowest men of them all, a man always knows not to mess with a lady for she forces her respect with no word, learn how to walk in a pair of Loubies and wear your Chanel but when it's time learn how to enjoy the feeling of the earth on the palms of your bare feet, don't be scared to get wet under the rain it won't matter if your mascara runs, for if he loved you, the black streaks on your face won't matter at all, that he shouldn't be scared of the depth of your dreams or the impluses that break your routine, that he should always be nervous around you and a bulk of confidence in the crowd for a smooth talker is no good for you, make sure he makes you laugh it will keep you young and would notice things you never knew about yourself, he should have chavillary for it's what defines a man, how he treats a women that's all that counts, he should understand that crying in between your hands doen't make him less of a man, on the contrary it means you're his home, supports you and most importantly distance won't scare him or keep him any less faithful for distance is important to be true to both yourselves and keep in your mind that lying is useless it never lasts and cheating doesn't take you far in life, real women take the hard way out and never depend on a single soul not even their own.

Lil girl, I've poured my heart and soul to a part of me i still dunno, to you and when one day you have a lil girl of your own don't forget to tell her that the world might be big but nothing is as huge as the chambers of heart and nothing is wider than the imagination of her brain and nothing is more precious in the universe but herself, the way I thought you and the way my mother once taught me.

Monsoon

   Everyday we are challenged by a current, that no one seems to notice, very subtle, yet strong, makes our "everydays" flow, you never realize how the road we have taken up inlife, was rarley a desicion, but we were somehow pulled gently into the river stream.

  Sometimes we are decived by the thought of how the current is controlled by us, by our desicions, by our thougts and the

freedom we believe in owning, your desicion might be initated and you might have decided this road is not "your cup of tea" in life but it will still find a way to pull you in back to what we call "average" "plain" and my least favorite "normal" the power of destruction these can do, it is a mass murder of innovation.

  So what happens when a powerful gush of air decides to push away from the stream, to rebel? It picks itself up and sets on a journey taking with it what it needs to prove it's very existance and to bring change, that's the key word change, it becomes a Monsoon.

  The defenition of a Monsoon is the following:

1. A wind from the southwest or south that brings heavy rainfall to southern Asia in the summer.
2. the meaning is far more greater than that, it changed summer into winter pulling the rain makers along with it. despite how near earth is from the sun and despite the previous mentioned stream of "normal" it reversed seasons, bringing undesmissable benifit to these countries argriculture and most importantly carved it's own path to teach us that anything could happen..

  So the question comes down to, are you a Monsoon?

❤️

   

     Putting someone to sleep in a matter of seconds, where they depart the state of conscious to the absolute unknown, loss of every sensation, of every control up to the state where their lungs can no longer function on their own and we are able to invade where no man has gone before exposing layers of their physical being, digging in deep to the source of where the body decided to rebel, in a form or another with deep sense of calmness and stability with the preparation of a sudden outbreak of a disaster. 

    Retract, alternate, cut, excise and finally fix all in a cold 4 walled room with covered faces..

Now tell me how can this not take your breath away, how can this not be a miracle?..