She woke up one morning and looked around her she wasn't familiar with that room, the bed felt cosy a coziness that she related too, but felt detached, she put her feet down on the cold floor, just looking at the lines on her feet you can figure out she has been lingering for a long time in this life. She got the strength to force herself up though her knees begged her to sit again, the pain was unbearable, but she's a fighter, never knew what resting felt like. Gathering herself up started looking around trying to remember how she ended up there, she's thinking hard, but no…..nothing comes up, she sees a little blue door she drags her tiny feet one step at a time she keeps telling herself one step more she finally gets to the door, opens it, looks around again she can't remember this place "hello, hello is there anyone around" she keeps walking opening doors looking if there is anyone out there, keeps calling again. " till the echo is silenced by a response "There you are, I've been looking all around for you"the nice smiling lady in white says. Her eyes remind me of my husband she thinks'. "excuse me, may you help me please, do you know where my husband is?" the lady in white smiles but it's clear she's hiding her tears, this is not the first time she has heard this question, in fact, all these questions seemed like they were on a broken record, as she says his been dead for over 20 years now! "No you're lying, that's not possible she says, when did this happen, and who are you, what am I doing here?" so many unanswered questions. Opening her mouth but no words are coming out she mumbles something that wasn't clear. A silent moment! the grey haired old woman's face was covered with wrinkles, all these lines proved how harsh life is, she finally spoke up "Mom its me your daughter"! she says gently "No darling you must have confused me with someone else I don't have kids" the old lady said. heart-broken she knew exactly that she has to agree with her, she couldn't possibly convince her, how could she remind her of 60 years worth of memories, it wasn't worth it, she was going to forget and ask the same questions 20 minutes later, its like she's frozen in time but only everyday it's getting worse and worse…..
This is how the begging of my grandma's day begins, she isn't able to remember anything anymore, that's what Alzheimer's diseases does to it's victims, it gets worse every day, nothing is the same anymore, it changes not only it's victims lives, but their families and loved ones it's a path a sick person has to go through, no exceptions and no medications can save them, it only pushes back the time they have to go through it, but no matter if it's a month, a year or 3 years it's a pain they must go through no escape! everything changes, they can't remember anything, their personalties change, nothings the same anymore putting her head on the pillow she's scared of tomorrow no one knows what might happen...
Simple tasks are no longer easy for her, we vist as much as we can, but every time I see her she's not the same person I saw the last time, thats not my grandma they say she's entering the last phase the worse of them all, I knew she's a though warrior she made it throught them all, but though no one says it out loud every one knows that a battle agains Alzheimer's is not like a battle against cancer, or most of other fatal diseases there isn't hope everyone knows how these things (Its hard for me to write it down)…..end up! I missed talking to her like before, we all miss her it's like she's there and at the same times she isn't, it's hard she's allways searching, searching for answers, for her lost soul, for all her questions are mysteries she keeps looking in her mind again and again but nothing, blank total blank, do you know how frustrating it is having to constantly forget the name of someone or something, it's there somewhere in the back of your mind on the tip of your tongue, but you can't get it out, imagine how would that feel, if it's something you had to deal with everyday, hard enough as it is it's not a something or a random someone's name it's their beloved's names!
You know, people get frustrated because their loved ones who have Alzheimer's, oh, he doesn't recognize me anymore, how can I recognize this person, if they don't recognize me? They're not the same person, well, they are the same person, but they've got a brain disease. And it's not their fault they've got this disease. Alzheimer's diseases steals more than just memories.....
Thank god my grandma is well loved between her family but it hurts me deeply thinking of other people with this disease not blessed with understanding families!
This is beautifully sad!
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